As the Super Bowl rapidly approaches, we here at Human Host must admit that we are die-hard fans of that good ol' gridiron spectacle known as American football. The fanfare, the wild drunken crowds, the sexy cheerleaders, we can't get enough!
Despite our love for the game, we feel that football team names just don't properly reflect the culture or the hopes and dreams of this country and its athletes; so, with a more critical eye turned towards the NFL, we've submitted a few proposals for new team names that will make football a thousand times more respectable than it is now:
Los Angeles Wolf Punchers
Pittsburgh Pork Destroyers
Phoenix Freedom Tunnel
New England Laser Donkeys
Philadelphia Fungi
Seattle Sex Chariots
Baltimore Barf Monsters
Washington Pizza Warriors
San Antonio Psychotic Blobs
Portland Gulf Monkeys
San Francisco Cheese Swords
Chicago Shrug-a-Hawks
Oklahoma City Old Dudes
Albuquerque Rainbow Toilets
St. Louis Fighting Sponges
Milwaukee Erotics
Green Bay Grandma Stompers
Minnesota Cave of Strippers
Detroit Dandrift Destroyers
Cleveland Cracklin' Oats
Atlanta Vengeance Burger
Orlando Death Flowers
Miami Dungeon Jerks
Indiana Anti-Racist Chainsaws
New Orleans Slime Quake
Houston Orgy
New Jersey Snake Eating Mountains
