It’s no accident that of the 75 total pieces I’ve written for Splice Today, exactly three of them, including this one, are in the “Music” category. I live in fear, especially here at a website where we feature talented music critics, of being mocked as a result of my affinity for what is generally considered excruciatingly bad music.
I’m not going to live in fear anymore. I’m not afraid to rock out with my Air Supply cock out any longer. I am coming out. I love Dr. Hook, and Ambrosia, and Little River Band. “Soft Hits of the 70s” on Pandora is the station I listen to almost always and I will not be ashamed. I will play my 10cc, England Dan and John Ford Coley and Firefall with pride. The noise of Neil Diamond from my car window will be silenced only by the blaring of Barry Manilow.
Perhaps the photo of me (above) explains my taste in music. I’m not sure. You see, I believe music is a really personal thing. You love certain music because it recalls a place in time when you were happy. For me, that music is sappy love songs of the 70s, and the place is the apartment complex swimming pool “The Kingswood Swim Club” in the neighborhood where I grew up in Pennsylvania. The radio station piped out the aforementioned bands, plus Stevie Wonder, Elton John, Fleetwood Mac, Bill Withers, the Bee Gees, Hall & Oates, Earth Wind & Fire, The Eagles, the Steve Miller Band and beyond, so when I hear this music, I think of baking in the sun (baby oil on the skin, Sun-In in the hair), cute lifeguards, and not having a care in the world other than scraping up enough money to play Ms. Pac Man and buy a Fudgsicle or some Fun Dip.
Here are my top 12 lesser known 70s soft hits; a random yet genuinely passionate celebration of 70s facial hair and sappy love song grandeur.
12. Summer Breeze (Seals and Crofts)
11. Dance With Me (Orleans)
10. Slow Dancing (Johnny Rivers)
9. Escape: The Pina Colada Song (Rupert Holmes)
8. Sharing the Night Together (Dr. Hook)
7. Baby Come Back (Player)
6. Lost in Love (Air Supply)
5. I’m Not In Love (10cc)
4. I’d Really Love to See You Tonight (England Dan and John Ford Coley)
3. Cool Change (Little River Band)
2. I Love You (Climax Blues Band)
1. You’re the Biggest Part of Me (Ambrosia)
In an effort to convince certain Air Supply haters of the true genius and poetry of their music, I composed my first sonnet, hand-crafted of Air Supply lyrics. Probably it is the first Air Supply sonnet on the Internet. God knows it is likely to be the last. Also, it is written all Shakespeare-style, in iambic pentameter, the method of which I obviously had to look up, because Catholic school was a really long time ago.
Shall I Compare Thee to a Supply of Air?
I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when this life seems so low
For now you have caused a fire to start
One which today won’t ever truly know.
So lift your eyes if you feel that you can,
For I know just how to whisper and cry
Reach for a star and I’ll show you a plan
I’ll find you the answers, I know how to lie.
So if I called you now what would you say?
If I told you that I just can’t hold on.
There’s no easy way, it’s harder each day.
Please love me now or I will just be gone
I’ll ne’er make it without you; need I crawl?
You, who make love out of nothing at all.
Follow @marymac on Twitter.